WHAT IS THE FRIEND ZONE ?
Have you ever been in love with a girl for a long time hoping she will respond to your love at some point, only to discover that you’ve been friend-zoned?
Annoying right? Well many guys have built their homes in the friend-zone, many of them not by choice. What do you do once there? How do you get out of the friend zone?
Based on the Oxford dictionary friend zone is:
A situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other.
Getting the girl of your dreams can sometimes be tricky, but even if you are shy, you can learn to flirt without confidence. You risk the fear of getting rejected; perhaps like the others, you have been unlucky with the ladies. This might be because you have been getting friend-zoned.
Below are mistakes that will make you fall in the friend zone.
WHY ARE YOU FRIENDZONED?
SPEAKING UP TOO LATE
This is perhaps one of the major mistakes that will make you fall in the friend zone.
A good number of ladies have been taught that in the matters of the heart, it is the guy who makes the move. This training prevents them from making their feelings known to a guy, especially when he has said nothing in that regard. When you have been friends with a lady for quite some time, she may likely begin to nurture some feelings. This especially when you have always treated her with adoration and importance. When this happens, she may begin to give subtle signals that shows she has fallen head over heels for you. These may include her always making body contact, maintaining eye contacts, flirting with you, and laughing at your boring jokes. Sadly, we don’t always get to see this hints. We almost always get to realizes a little too late. A common characteristic of a good number of ladies is their impatience. This means that we have a very limited window for speaking our minds. This will enable you speak up your mind in order to avoid the trap of friend zoning.
LACK OF CONFIDENCE
Every lady wants a confident man.
This may be largely due to their psychology. They want to feel that you can protect them, not just from danger but from other men. This may also be nature’s way of ensuring the survival of the fittest. When a lady sees you as a sissy, you may never succeed in getting to the doors of her heart. A lady can sense this in your being too timid to talk to her about your feelings or in your relationship with people around you. In avoiding the trap of friend zoning, you will have to man up in your confidence levels. Just don’t be cocky. Here is an article to teach you how to build a charismatic leadership.
BEING TOO / NOT ENOUGH NICE
It is a known fact that every lady wants to be treated like a goddess.
In trying to escape the friend zone, you would need to treat her with importance if you neglected her. If you over-caring, try to take some distance (jealousy is also really powerful). Not sending enough texts, making a calling her adequately, not remembering events that are important to her, and forgetting or exposing secrets that she has revealed. Not doing these simple tasks can be a major mistake that dump us in the friend zones. It would not be a bad idea to walk her dog, help her with some groceries, and walk her home. These little things make a lady feel important. Do it to show consideration but slow down it when you feel that you show dependence and unlimited assertiveness.
DESPERATION
This too can be a major mistake that can send you straight to the friend-zones. In trying to win a lady’s heart, being too desperate can chase her away. This is because she will begin to feel choked. No lady wants to be with a man who will not allow her a personal space or someone who she senses as too clingy. Every person in a relationship needs some personal space. Once a lady senses desperation, she might simply dump you in the friend-zone.
To get out of this desperation reputation, start taking some distance. Show that you have your own life and don’t be afraid to decline invitation. Spend some days without answering and train yourself to see other people. If the friend zone makes you sad with this person it’s better anyway to let some space.
LETTING A LADY SEE YOU AS A BROTHER
This is also a major mistake that puts you in the friend zone. In trying to be nice to a lady that you intend to date, don’t get too close to being seen as a brother. This pitfall is not remediable. It is best you make your intentions known in a subtle way first. Then make more obvious flirt things, be more direct. This is done by letting her know that you don’t want to be just a nice guy, but one with intentions of winning her heart. A good sentence that you can say is asking to hang out just you and her. If she tries to invite friends, decline and say that you prefer to enjoy her company. The point is to act different so she reconsider your relation. From there you can evolve to something else. Don’t be to direct because she may be confused. Let her time to think about it by sending subtle messages. But don’t be too subtle because she will get use to it and nothing will change. Move to action once you feel she start to wondering what are you trying to do. This will be the perfect timing to exit the friend zone.
BEING UNSERIOUS MINDED
This is another major mistake that will definitely land you in the friend zone. A lady typically has dreams and ambitions in life. She would definitely want a man who will be strong enough to support these dreams. In other words, a serious minded man would definitely be her first choice. However, this doesn’t mean that you should throw away your sense of humor. Making a lady laugh is definitely a major way of keeping her and not falling into the friend-zone. A lady might friend-zone you for this reason. This is no woman wants a clown as husband. In winning a lady, try being more purpose oriented.
FAILING TO ACCEPT HER PAST
Everyone, including your gorgeous lady has past. Some persons have had a horrible past life and have made mistakes that they regret. Your lady might just be one of them. In trying to win her heart, failure to accept who she was can signify to her that you are not a suitable mate. No one likes being judged for their past misdeeds. She might just decide to dump you in the friend zone when she senses that you will not love her for who she is. You may be stuck there because she feels you don’t understand her or you are not compatible. To get out from that situation, try to understand what she is looking for. Being able to listen is the key here.
HOW TO GET OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE: TAKE AWAY
Being friend-zoned is a precarious situation that no guy would want to find himself. This is because it can be heartbreaking especially when you’ve fallen so hard for someone. It can even be more heart rending to see the one you love with someone else. It is important therefore to know these mistakes that will make you fall in the friend zone and avoid them, and if they happen, how to get out of the friend zone.
