Joseph Heller, author of Catch-22, was born in Brooklyn, New York on May 1, 1923. Though he had a successful career as an author, Heller’s road to publication was a long and difficult one. He spent over ten years writing Catch-22 before it was finally published in 1961. The novel was an instant success and has since become a classic American novel.
Discover the best Failure, World, Crazy, Time quotes from Joseph Heller, and much more.
I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any. — Joseph Heller
She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled. — Joseph Heller
He could not make them understand that…having a good time bored him and was not worth the effort. — Joseph Heller
Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple’s cat. — Joseph Heller
It was love at first sight. The first time Yossarian saw the chaplain he fell madly in love with him. — Joseph Heller
Where are the snowdens of yesteryear? — Joseph Heller
Who is Spain? Why is Hitler? Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear? — Joseph Heller
If God was dead, how could I feel this bad? — Joseph Heller
I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long. — Joseph Heller
All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive. — Joseph Heller
In a world in which success was the only virtue, he had resigned himself to failure. — Joseph Heller
In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental. — Joseph Heller
Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure. — Joseph Heller
There is no disappointment so numbing…as someone no better than you achieving more. — Joseph Heller
If character is destiny, the good are damned. — Joseph Heller
That crazy bastard may be the only sane one left. — Joseph Heller
I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy. — Joseph Heller
I think that maybe in every company today there is always at least one person who is going crazy slowly. — Joseph Heller
They’re not going to send a crazy man out to be killed, are they?’ ‘Who else will go? — Joseph Heller
Everyone in my book accuses everyone else of being crazy. Frankly, I think the whole society is nuts–and the question is: What does a sane man do in an insane society? — Joseph Heller
There’s a rule saying I have to ground anyone who’s crazy … There’s a catch. Catch–22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn’t really crazy. — Joseph Heller
The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon. — Joseph Heller
If Richard Nixon was second–rate, what in the world is third–rate? — Joseph Heller
I never even realized I was Jewish until I was practically grown up. Or rather, I used to feel that everybody in the world was Jewish, which amounts to the same thing. — Joseph Heller
The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts……. — Joseph Heller
Men,’ he began his address to the officers, measuring his pauses carefully. ‘You’re American officers. The officers of no other army in the world can make that statement. Think about it. — Joseph Heller
Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow. — Joseph Heller
Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it. — Joseph Heller
When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don’t see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy. — Joseph Heller
In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out. — Joseph Heller
There is wisdom in madness and strong probability of truth in all accusations, for people are complete, and everyone is capable of everything. — Joseph Heller
The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them. — Joseph Heller
Now you’ve given them hope, and they’re unhappy. So the blame is all yours. — Joseph Heller
What do you do when it rains?’ The captain answered frankly. ‘I get wet. — Joseph Heller
Never quit a job as a matter of principle. You’ll always regret it. — Joseph Heller
But Yossarian knew he was right, because, as he explained to Clevinger, to the best of his knowledge he had never been wrong. — Joseph Heller
I don’t think the ‘what’ distinguishes a good novel from a bad one but rather the ‘how.’ — Joseph Heller
Rise above principal and do what’s right. — Joseph Heller
That’s another thing that pisses me off about that Michelangelo statue of me in Florence. He’s got me standing there uncircumcised! Who the fuck did he think I was? — Joseph Heller
If a man is going to leave one wife to marry another, it’s better if he divorces the first before he marries the second. — Joseph Heller
When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid, ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is almost staggering. — Joseph Heller
When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective. — Joseph Heller
The problem with the loneliness I suffer is that the company of others has never been a cure for it. — Joseph Heller
There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to. — Joseph Heller
You’re an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I’m an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I’m in an ideal position to appreciate it. — Joseph Heller
They] agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything. — Joseph Heller
It doesn’t make sense. It isn’t even good grammar. What the hell does it mean when they disappear somebody? — Joseph Heller
But the God I don’t believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He’s not the mean and stupid God you make him out to be. — Joseph Heller
That’s some catch, that Catch–22,’ he observed. It’s the best there is,’ Doc Daneeka agreed. — Joseph Heller
Well then I’d certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn’t I? — Joseph Heller
Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you. — Joseph Heller
I wouldn’t want to live without strong misgivings. — Joseph Heller
Major Major never sees anyone in his office while he’s in his office. — Joseph Heller
All of my books deal in a very rough, rude fashion with subjects about which there are great conflicts of opinion. — Joseph Heller
Clevinger had a mind, and Lieutenant Scheisskoph had noticed that people with minds tended to get pretty smart at times. — Joseph Heller
Maybe I am senile already and people are too kind to tell me. People are not kind and would tell me. (Maybe people have told me, and I’m too senile to remember). — Joseph Heller
Why are they going to disappear him?’ I don’t know.’ It doesn’t make sense. It isn’t even good grammar. — Joseph Heller
