The Best Groucho Marx quotes

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UNWASTED: Convert wasted time, build your life

What could you do with all the time you've been throwing away?

    TRUE


    UNWASTED: Convert wasted time, build your life

    What could you do with all the time you've been throwing away?

      TRUE


      Groucho Marx is one of the most influential comedians in history. His wit and humor have been passed down from generation to generation, bringing him into the spotlight again and again. But who was Groucho? In this blog post, I’ll be exploring his biography, what it was like for him growing up during his time period, and how he became a comedy icon.
      I hope you enjoy!

      We are glad to present you the best phrases from Groucho Marx.
      We are glad to present you the most interesting Love, Happiness, Wife, Women, Join, Time quotes from Groucho Marx, and much more.

      Summary

      About Groucho Marx

      birth of the author

      Born:
      October 2, 1890

      death of the author

      Died:
      August 19, 1977

      medium of the author

      Medium:
      Film, Television, Stage, Radio, Music

      date of the author

      Years Active:
      1905-1976

      genre of the author

      Genres:
      Wit, Wordplay, Slapstick

      GROUCHO MARX QUOTES ABOUT TIME

      Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you. — Groucho Marx

      No man goes before his time–unless the boss leaves early. — Groucho Marx

      I was born at a very early age. Before I had time to regret it, I was four and a half years old. — Groucho Marx

      Time wounds all heels. — Groucho Marx

      next time i see you remind me not to talk to you Groucho Marx quote

      I shall drink no # wine before it’s time! OK, it’s time. — Groucho Marx

      I remember the first time I had sex–I kept the receipt. — Groucho Marx

      Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn’t time to dig trenches. We’ll have to buy them ready made. — Groucho Marx

      Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise. — Groucho Marx

      UNWASTED: Convert wasted time, build your life

      What could you do with all the time you've been throwing away?

        TRUE


        UNWASTED: Convert wasted time, build your life

        What could you do with all the time you've been throwing away?

          TRUE


          Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read. — Groucho Marx

          no man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early Groucho Marx quote

          You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff. — Groucho Marx

          That’s nothing–my alarm clock is set for eight. — Groucho Marx

          Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. — Groucho Marx

          Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. — Groucho Marx

          Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. — Groucho Marx

          time wounds all heels Groucho Marx quote

          GROUCHO MARX QUOTES ON WOMEN

          Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. — Groucho Marx

          Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. — Groucho Marx

          Women should be obscene, not heard. — Groucho Marx

          I am a man and you are a woman. I can’t think of a better arrangement. — Groucho Marx

          Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men––the other 999 follow women. — Groucho Marx

          behind every successful man is a woman behind her is his wife Groucho Marx quote

          A man is only as old as the woman he feels. — Groucho Marx

          A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. — Groucho Marx

          A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead. — Groucho Marx

          A man who says he can see through a woman is missing a lot.–Groucho Marx A man’s only as old as the woman he feels. — Groucho Marx

          You’re only as young as the woman you feel. — Groucho Marx

          anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot Groucho Marx quote

          One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother’s day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather! — Groucho Marx

          We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. — Groucho Marx

          If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers. — Groucho Marx

          Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances. (Either that, or my luck’s terrible.) — Groucho Marx

          With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon. — Groucho Marx

          women should be obscene not heard Groucho Marx quote

          When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That’s the price she has to pay. — Groucho Marx

          Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar. — Groucho Marx

          Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls. — Groucho Marx

          Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. — Groucho Marx

          Two women at a resort discussed dinner: ‘The food here is lousy,’ the first noted. ‘You’re right! And such small portions!!’ the second added — Groucho Marx

          i am a man and you are a woman i can t think of a better arrangement Groucho Marx quote

          You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I’m hot under the collar. — Groucho Marx

          In any relationship, the woman has control, the clever ones don’t let the men know. — Groucho Marx

          If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn’t sell much–just an occasional sun visor. — Groucho Marx

          Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind. — Groucho Marx

          GROUCHO MARX QUOTES ABOUT LOVE

          She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me. — Groucho Marx

          she s so in love with me she doesn t know anything that s why she s in love with me Groucho Marx quote

          Only if the computers really love each other. — Groucho Marx

          Redundant Thematics

          In Groucho Marx Statements

          money
          love
          happy
          year
          wife
          join
          woman
          time
          club

          I love to read. My education is self–inflicted — Groucho Marx

          I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while. — Groucho Marx

          Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. — Groucho Marx

          Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put ‘Emily, I love you’ on the back of the bill. — Groucho Marx

          only if the computers really love each other Groucho Marx quote

          I did toy with the idea of doing a cook–book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right. — Groucho Marx

          Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks. — Groucho Marx

          GROUCHO MARX QUOTES ON WIFE

          Here’s to our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet! — Groucho Marx

          As soon as I get through with you, you’ll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife. — Groucho Marx

          One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. — Groucho Marx

          here s to our wives and girlfriends may they never meet Groucho Marx quote

          Wives are people who feel they don’t dance enough. — Groucho Marx

          Why don’t you go home to your wife? Better yet, I’ll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won’t notice any difference. — Groucho Marx

          The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It’s been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven’t got a camel, but I think it’s a great idea. — Groucho Marx

          Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. — Groucho Marx

          This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written. — Groucho Marx

          one of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife Groucho Marx quote

          Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name–calling. I don’t mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies. — Groucho Marx

          GROUCHO MARX QUOTES ON JOIN

          I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. — Groucho Marx

          I don’t want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members. — Groucho Marx

          I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member. — Groucho Marx

          Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx

          i refuse to join any club that would have me as a member Groucho Marx quote

          I’m not going to pay good money to join a club that lets in people like me. — Groucho Marx

          I aughta joIn a club and beat you over the head wIth It. — Groucho Marx

          I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it. — Groucho Marx

          GROUCHO MARX QUOTES ABOUT HAPPINESS

          If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. — Groucho Marx

          I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it. — Groucho Marx

          if you find it hard to laugh at yourself i would be happy to do it for you Groucho Marx quote

          Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, and I’m going to be happy in it. — Groucho Marx

          Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. — Groucho Marx

          The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. — Groucho Marx

          I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it. — Groucho Marx

          Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going. — Groucho Marx

          i have just one day today and i m going to be happy in it Groucho Marx quote

          I’ve got the brain of a four year old. I’ll bet he was glad to be rid of it. — Groucho Marx

          I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception. — Groucho Marx

          The success setup

          Motivation & productivity Hacks and Mindsets from the most successful entrepreneurs.

          The success setup

          Motivation & productivity Hacks and Mindsets from the most successful entrepreneurs.

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