It’s better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don’t find success right away. — George Burns

Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on x–rays, but you know it’s there. — George Burns

My best advice: Fall in love with what you do for a living. — George Burns

I honestly thInk It Is better to be a faIlure at somethIng you love than to be a success at somethIng you hate. — George Burns

I don’t care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success. — George Burns

When I’m in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age. — George Burns

If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I’d make love to it, then I’d smoke it. — George Burns

Julian and jake sitting in a tree k i s s i n g, first comes love then comes sex then comes baby smoking! — George Burns

There’s nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed. — George Burns

If ice can burn,’ said Jojen in his solemn voice, ‘then love and hate can mate. Mountain or marsh, it makes no matter. The land is one. — George R.R. Martin

Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang. — George Burns

Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch! — George Burns

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. — George Burns

I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life. — George Burns

In show business the key word is honesty. Once you’ve learned to fake that, the rest is easy. — George Burns

People are always asking me how much I’m worth. Well, all I can say is, I’ve got enough money to last me the rest of my life. As long as I die in the next 20 minutes. — George Burns

So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. — George Carlin

The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides. — George Burns

I smoke cigars because at my age if I don’t have something to hang on to I might fall down. — George Burns

The morning air was dark with the smoke of burning gods. — George R.R. Martin

I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke. — George Burns

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something. — George Burns

Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman … or a bad woman. — George Burns

I would go out wIth women my age, but there are no women my age. — George Burns

I like women to be attracted to me. See, when you get 60 years old, and they know you’re 60, the only women you can get are 55–year–old women, and I like younger women. — George Burns

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, and a good woman–or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle. — George Burns

There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men. — George Burns

When I was in Vegas women were throwing their hotel keys at me. But it was after they checked out. — George Burns

Life is like a flame that is always burning itself out… — George Bernard Shaw

Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it. — George Burns

There’s an old saying, ‘Life begins at forty.’ That’s silly. Life begins every morning you wake up. — George Burns

Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations. — George Bernard Shaw

I can’t understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. — George Burns

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. — George Burns

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or fourteenth. — George Burns

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. — George Burns

I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands. — George Burns

In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I’ve been retired all my life. — George Burns