New York was scary, coming from the Midwest. At first, I thought I’d come in all cocky, like, ‘I’m gonna bring this town to its knees!’ After about a month, I was like, ‘I wanna go home.’ — Chris Farley

Brothers don’t shake hands. Brothers gotta hug. — Chris Farley

I have a nice apartment now that’s all taken care of. I make my bed every day. — Chris Farley

I can’t help it. I want to be a good Catholic, but I’m a hedonist. — Chris Farley

The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn’t a crazy glue sniffer. — Chris Farley

Although I love this kind of comedy, sometimes I feel trapped by always having to be the most outrageous guy in the room. In particular, I’m working on trying not to be that guy in my private life. — Chris Farley

I live in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER. — Chris Farley

The (original) concept was The shrek character was a little bit more like chris, like a humble, bumbling innocent guy. — Chris Farley

I have what doctors call a little bit of a weight problem. — Chris Farley

Everyone is treating it like a Hollywood story. In Madison, it’s a neighborhood story. — Chris Farley

First off, I am 35 years old, I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river. — Chris Farley

I can get a great look at a t–bone steak by shoving my head up a bull’s ass but I’d rather take the butchers word for it. — Chris Farley

Basically, I only play one character; I just play him at different volumes. — Chris Farley

People need a time to laugh. It’s up to us to bonk ourselves on the head and slip on a banana peel so the average guy can say, ‘I may be bad, honey, but I’m not as much of an idiot as that guy on the screen.’ — Chris Farley

I seem to get motivated a few months at a time, and then something stressful breaks the routine, and I just fold. — Chris Farley

I signed on as the clown, and, by golly, I’ll keep up my end of the bargain. — Chris Farley

In the land of the skunks, he who has half a nose is king. — Chris Farley

I’m just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants! — Chris Farley

I don’t know what the future holds. All I know is, I’m good today. Real good. — Chris Farley

You enter strong and you exit strong, and you’re going to be OK. — Chris Farley

People see me and they go, ‘help! a big, stupid, stinky, smelly, ugly ogre! i’m so scared!’ and they judge me before they even know me. — Chris Farley

Everybody laughs when fatty falls down. — Chris Farley

I went and worked for my dad after school. I’d show up late and stuff like that. — Chris Farley

I was glad to be sober, but after ninety days, people weren’t patting me on the back anymore, sayin’, ‘Good job on the sobriety! Go get ’em!’ — Chris Farley

Once I thought that if I just had enough in the bank, if I had enough fame, that it would be all right. But I’m a human being like everyone else. I’m not exempt. — Chris Farley

I want to live fast and die young. — Chris Farley

When I got outta school, I didn’t know what I was gonna do with my life. I knew I didn’t have much in the grades department, and so I was very fearful. A whole lot of fear. — Chris Farley

The great comics can fall on their faces, but then they can say, ‘Oh, baby, you’re the greatest.’ They show their heart and their vulnerability. — Chris Farley