The Best Zach Galifianakis quotes

Zach Galifianakis quotes thumbnail

Zach Galifianakis is an American actor, comedian, and writer. He has become a well-known celebrity in the United States for his television roles as Alan on The Hangover trilogy, Matt Damon’s friend Pete on Between Two Ferns, and Mike Tyson in the mockumentary comedy film Hangover 2. His most notable work as a director to date is his web series Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis which features him interviewing various celebrities while he pretends to be clueless about show business.
Galifianakis has also starred in big budget Hollywood films like The Campaign, Due Date, and The Hangover Part III.

Here are the strongest phrases from Zach Galifianakis.

Here are the best Called, Love, Playing, Comedy quotes from Zach Galifianakis, and much more.


Test your habit in 4-mins


stop digital addiction course
This Course Breaks Your Digital Habits

About Zach Galifianakis

birth of the author

October 1, 1969

medium of the author

Stand-Up, Film, Television, Music

education of the author

North Carolina State University

date of the author

Years Active:

genre of the author

Alternative Comedy, Surreal Humour, Observational Comedy, Black Comedy, Insult Comedy, Physical Comedy, Musical Comedy, One-Liners, Deadpan


Privacy is big for me. To do interviews even, I have a very love/hate with it. — Zach Galifianakis

Tigers love pepper…they hate cinnamon. — Zach Galifianakis

American society loves to prop people up and then take them down. — Zach Galifianakis

I’ve been wanting kids for 10 years. I’d love to adopt, have them naturally–all of it. I want, like, 15. — Zach Galifianakis

privacy is big for me to do interviews even i have a very love hate with it Zach Galifianakis quote

I’ve never been in love… But I imagine it’s similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food — Zach Galifianakis

I once walked in on my grandparents making love…And that’s why I don’t eat raisins. — Zach Galifianakis


I’ve always been attracted to sad. If you look at Woody Allen movies, he’s often playing a sad clown, and it’s always been interesting. And angry clown is even more interesting. — Zach Galifianakis

I love playing a curmudgeon. I just love playing a sour guy. — Zach Galifianakis

My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good. — Zach Galifianakis

i love playing a curmudgeon i just love playing a sour guy Zach Galifianakis quote

I don’t mean to be gross, but the only time it’s good to yell ‘I have diarrhea’ is when you’re playing Scrabble because it’s worth a shitload of points. — Zach Galifianakis


I’ve always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy. — Zach Galifianakis

I dream of starting a three–man country trio called the Chixie Dicks. — Zach Galifianakis

I want to do another reality show. It’s based on The Mole. It’s about sexually transmitted diseases. It’s called ‘God, I Hope That’s a Mole. — Zach Galifianakis

I’d like to do a reality show with four white people…who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called…Cracker Hunt. — Zach Galifianakis

i ve always wanted to have a greek sitcom called olive lucy Zach Galifianakis quote

Have you seen that show on CBS called ‘The Amazing Race’? Is that show about white people? — Zach Galifianakis

I’m writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It’s called: Stop Staring at Me! — Zach Galifianakis


It’s not good for comedy to be like, ‘Thanks for liking me’. Being popular is poison. — Zach Galifianakis

I like dark comedies. That’s why I like the Wayans Brothers. — Zach Galifianakis

I think comedy is a really, really good tool for trying to say something. — Zach Galifianakis

it s not good for comedy to be like thanks for liking me being popular is poison Zach Galifianakis quote

Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything’s been done. — Zach Galifianakis

I watch a happy person doing stand–up, and I go, ‘What the hell is this? This person’s happy!’ You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It’s a tool for comedy. — Zach Galifianakis

I think sadness and anger are really fertile ground for comedy. No one is really interested in a happy person doing comedy. — Zach Galifianakis

It’s fun for me to couple emotion with comedy. I think it helps comedy. I think a lot of times American comedies don’t play on emotion too much. — Zach Galifianakis

But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they’re part of the same ilk. — Zach Galifianakis

i like dark comedies that s why i like the wayans brothers Zach Galifianakis quote

It’s been a real launching pad for whites, you have’comedians in cars getting coffee.’ james corden has’ carpool karaoke.’ what’s next in lazy car–based, non–comedy ? — Zach Galifianakis

I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn’t seem too preachy because you’re also making people laugh, so it’s really kind of a good tool for messaging. — Zach Galifianakis

Redundant Thematics

In Zach Galifianakis Statements


When a role seems fun it’s easy to play. It kind of comes organically. — Zach Galifianakis

Inspiring Phrases From Zach Galifianakis

I think if they put a laugh track on ‘Intervention,’ it would be funny. — Zach Galifianakis

When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria–not necessarily by choice–but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren’t there. — Zach Galifianakis

i think if they put a laugh track on intervention it would be funny Zach Galifianakis quote

I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life. — Zach Galifianakis

My dad doesn’t get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn’t understand them. He’s just laughing because people around him are laughing. — Zach Galifianakis

When you’re doing standup you’re kind of doing, ‘Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny. — Zach Galifianakis

I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling. — Zach Galifianakis

My real last name is Galifianakisburg. — Zach Galifianakis

i am going to be the next ryan gosling Zach Galifianakis quote

Various Statements From Zach Galifianakis

My stand–up is more like how I am in real life. I don’t really do a character thing in stand–up. It’s just a bunch of sentences that are supposed to be funny. — Zach Galifianakis

The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they’re not supposed to. — Zach Galifianakis

My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn’t laugh because he got distracted by my shoe strings. — Zach Galifianakis

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means. — Zach Galifianakis

Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they’re done towards yourself. — Zach Galifianakis

the word abbreviation sure is long for what it means Zach Galifianakis quote

I try to write three jokes every day. I don’t sit down and write them, it’s just things that pop into my head. Then I’ll go watch it fail onstage that night. — Zach Galifianakis

If you see something, say something. — Zach Galifianakis

Wasting Life?


Test your habit in 4-mins