Life is improvisation. — Tina Fey

I don’t live the single life and never really did. — Tina Fey

By the way, when Oprah Winfrey is suggesting you may have overextended yourself, you need to examine your fucking life. — Tina Fey

In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor. — Tina Fey

It’s a burden, being able to control situations with my hyper–vigilance, but it’s my lot in life. — Tina Fey

No other formula gives your baby a better start in life except that stuff that comes out of you for free. — Tina Fey

I think you basically have to abandon the dreams of having any other adult activities in your life. You have to go to sleep whenever your child goes to sleep. — Tina Fey

When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: ‘Hey, this isn’t the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have! — Tina Fey

A new study suggests that middle–aged adults who go on periodic drinking binges may face a heightened risk of dementia later on in life. The study is entitled, ‘National Strategy for Victory in Iraq.’ — Tina Fey

The upsides of acting in things is mostly getting your hair done and having people give you clothes. So as long as you can have a little bit of that in your life, then it’s just as delightful to be behind camera. — Tina Fey

It’s hard to get laughs when you’re new. — Tina Fey

The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh. — Tina Fey

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at. — Tina Fey

Sometimes when you’re doing a comedy, the director will yell out ‘alts’ and then the director gets the first laugh. — Tina Fey

At some point, you realize that people might be laughing at your jokes because they’re afraid not to laugh. — Tina Fey

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs. — Tina Fey

Last night the Taliban offered to release eight Westerners if the U.S. promised not to attack. The State Department declined but thanked the Taliban for the offer, saying it really felt good to laugh again. — Tina Fey

My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don’t take myself too seriously. — Tina Fey

Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion. — Tina Fey

It doesn’t matter if it’s a school play or a dumb TV show. It’s your work. You should care about it so much that people get annoyed with you. — Tina Fey

Most of the time you’re too busy to think about it. But every now and then you say, ‘I work at ‘Saturday Night Live,’ and that is so cool. — Tina Fey

When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real. — Tina Fey

I had to get back to work… NBC has me under contract; the baby and I only have a verbal agreement. — Tina Fey

Sometimes, you can feel or see how a movie can… how you can do it. Sometimes it’s just like seeing, ‘Can that work? Will people buy that? Can we do that?’ And all those checkmarks. — Tina Fey

I’m relieved i don’t work atsnl[right now], the level of outrage is so high. it feels like talking to anyone, anywhere in 2018 is just landmine hopscotch. — Tina Fey

Most of my work is done before we start shooting, preparation work, so my normal day begins when I start writing, it might even be the night before. — Tina Fey

I never get to go to movies, because I’m a mom. — Tina Fey

Rock’ is over, so I definitely aspire to write another movie again; eventually, will try to pitch something for television again. — Tina Fey

One of the great things about doing animated movies is that you don’t have to dress up or put on make–up. — Tina Fey

Ladies gotta say no to their husbands at the movies. They gotta say: ‘No, we are watching back–to–back cancer movies. And then this movie about a cat. — Tina Fey

The music seems creepy, like when children sing in a horror movie — Tina Fey

The barrier between TV and movies has come down and film actors are willing to do TV and vice versa, because they just want to follow what’s interesting. — Tina Fey

Admission’ is Paul Weitz’s movie. This is Karen Croner–the screenwriter’s–movie. To have such a lovely role in such a beautifully written script offered to me, it’s like elves made the shoes. — Tina Fey

North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror. Even more amazing: not the worst review the movie got. — Tina Fey

Doing one movie every two years is about all I can handle ’cause, being the creator at ’30 Rock’, my year there starts in the middle of June and goes back around until March. — Tina Fey

I’m not that good looking… nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen. — Tina Fey

I’m a logic monster, if things don’t make sense I’ve gotta make sense of them. I enjoy helping to develop material for movies, it’s a way for me to get into the part. — Tina Fey

I want to spend time with Oprah and I don’t know what I need to do to make that happen. — Tina Fey

I hire people that are good, and aren’t crazy. Or assholes. Because that takes up too much time. There are just as many good people who are not crazy. — Tina Fey

It’s harder to make something good when you can’t curse all the time. — Tina Fey

I still want Oprah to play my best friend. I want to spend time with Oprah. — Tina Fey

I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people. — Tina Fey

You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘this is impossible–oh,this is impossible’. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible. — Tina Fey

Television is a runaway train that you have to get on for nine months of the year. But at the same time, it has a wonderful immediacy. — Tina Fey

I can’t possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody’s business and I’ll never regret it for a moment unless it ruins my life. — Tina Fey

I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day–drinking. — Tina Fey

At the upcoming Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony will perform together as the first time, as man and wife. Hopefully music. — Tina Fey

The idea of being in control for the sake of control is not really important to me. If everyone is sharp and doing what they’re doing well, you don’t really need to be in control all the time. — Tina Fey

Television] is a great medium for writers, because there’s just no time for a studio to interfere very long. You write it, you shoot it; it’s on TV. — Tina Fey

My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven–letter word FARTING.) — Tina Fey

Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl–on–girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying ‘like’ all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster. — Tina Fey

Sometimes people expect that I’m going to be tough. It’s not a bad situation. People treat you better. People are on time. — Tina Fey

I found the recording sessions very freeing because you can really try things. When you’re filming something, if you’re improvising a film and you’re wasting film and wasting a cameraman’s time. — Tina Fey

Whitney Houston’s cover of ‘I Will Always Love You’ was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one. — Tina Fey

You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone. — Tina Fey

Boyhood proves that there’s still good roles for women over 40, as long as you get hired when you’re under 40. — Tina Fey

An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women’s Affairs. Man, who’d she have to show her ankles to to get that job? — Tina Fey

For most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us, unless you believe in evolution. Actually, I take it back. The whole thing is a disaster. — Tina Fey

I like to write about women, not so much about the way they relate to men, but about the way they relate to each other. And I don’t think anyone’s really doing it. — Tina Fey

There is no one of–woman–born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist. — Tina Fey

I really love cursing a lot. But as I get older, I realize it’s a little unseemly for women of a certain age. — Tina Fey

Saudi Arabian police arrested seven teenage boys for leering at women. In accordance with Saudi law, the boys will be whipped and the women will be stoned to death. — Tina Fey

By the time i got there, in that read–through room… our director was a woman, one of our stage managers was a woman. — Tina Fey

Gravity’: ‘It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age. — Tina Fey

I have a suspicion that the definition of ‘crazy’ in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to f*** [sleep with her] anymore. — Tina Fey

According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don’t worry, lonely women, you’ll be dead soon. — Tina Fey

I personally wIll make my own pledge as a college–educated whIte woman to not look away, to not pretend that thIngs that are happenIng now won’t eventually affect me If we don’t put a stop to It. — Tina Fey

It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk–on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film. — Tina Fey

When a man plays a woman in a dress, you’re halfway there. It’s inherently funny. When a woman plays a man, for whatever reason, it’s not that instant kind of funny. — Tina Fey

I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria’s Secret. There would be no Dior. — Tina Fey