The Best Red Skelton quotes

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November 2, 1913 was a day of joy for the Skelton family. The doctor had just delivered their son and they named him John Elroy. He would go on to become one of America’s most beloved comedians.
He started out as an actor in vaudeville shows before he began his career in television with two programs called The Red Skelton Show. His show consisted of comedy sketches, monologues, and musical performances by guest stars. Skelton is best known for performing alongside Charlie Ruggles from 1944-1954 in ‘The Life Of Riley’.

We are glad to present you the best sentences from Red Skelton.

Here are the most interesting quotes from Red Skelton, and much more.


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About Red Skelton

birth of the author

July 18, 1913

death of the author

September 17, 1997

occupation of the author

Actor, Artist, Comedian

date of the author

Years Active:

Inspiring Phrases From Red Skelton

You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first. — Red Skelton

Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. — Red Skelton

Congress: Bingo with billions. — Red Skelton

I left home because I was hungry. — Red Skelton

recipe for a happy marriage my wife and i always hold hands if i let go she shops Red Skelton quote

It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they’ll come out for it. — Red Skelton

Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room. — Red Skelton

A fellow told me he was going to hang–glider school. He said, ‘I’ve been going for three months. ‘ I said, ‘How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?’ He said, ‘All of them. ‘ — Red Skelton

Various Statements From Red Skelton

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory … I forget the other two. — Red Skelton

Imitation isn’t the sincerest form of flattery–it’s plagiarism. — Red Skelton

there are three signs of old age loss of memory i forget the other two Red Skelton quote

Wouldn’t it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer and that would be eliminated from schools, too? — Red Skelton

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy. — Red Skelton

If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God. — Red Skelton

I won’t mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn’t heard. — Red Skelton

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. ‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ she said. So I suggested the kitchen. — Red Skelton

imitation isn t the sincerest form of flattery it s plagiarism Red Skelton quote

More Phrases From Red Skelton

I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin — Red Skelton

I’m nuts and I know it. But so long as I make ’em laugh, they ain’t going to lock me up. — Red Skelton

I don’t need glasses, but I’ve just reached the age where curiosity is greater than vanity. — Red Skelton

I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather. — Red Skelton

Redundant Thematics

In Red Skelton Statements


His death was the first time that Ed Wynn ever made anyone sad. — Red Skelton

i was a sober as the next guy the only problem is the next guy was dean martin Red Skelton quote

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics. — Red Skelton

Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations. — Red Skelton

Deeper Quotes From Red Skelton

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. — Red Skelton

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas — Red Skelton

I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it. — Red Skelton

all men make mistakes but married men find out about them sooner Red Skelton quote

God’s children and their happiness are my reasons for being. — Red Skelton

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off — Red Skelton

You know how to tell when you’re getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist. — Red Skelton

Today’s comics use four–letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They’re shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four–letter words to shock people. — Red Skelton

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