The Best Norm Macdonald quotes

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There’s no one quite like Norm Macdonald. The Canadian-born comedian has been in the entertainment industry for over three decades, and has achieved success in everything from standup to TV to movie appearances. He’s known for his unique sense of humor and offbeat delivery, and his ability to make even the most mundane topics hilarious. In this blog post, we’re going to take a look at Macdonald’s life and career, and explore what makes him one of the most successful comedians of all time.

Here are the most known Being Funny, Love, Life, Advice quotes from Norm Macdonald, and much more.


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About Norm Macdonald

birth of the author

October 17, 1959

death of the author

September 14, 2021

date of the author

Years Active:

medium of the author

Stand-Up, Television, Film, Literature

genre of the author

Black Comedy, Deadpan, Non Sequitur, Observational Comedy, Political Satire, Shaggy Dog Story And More.

award of the author

Notable Works And Roles:
Saturday Night Live, Weekend Update, The Norm Show, Norm Macdonald Live, Norm Macdonald Has A Show And More.


In love, we are best pleased when we please others. — Norm Macdonald

Few people love with the violence they hate. — Norm Macdonald

Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love. — Norm Macdonald


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I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can’t stay in the same place. People think you’re a loser. — Norm Macdonald

in love we are best pleased when we please others Norm Macdonald quote

I’ve been in theaters. Like Brian Regan, who I love–loved him so much more when he did the Improvs. And then in a big theater–nobody’s that good. — Norm Macdonald

It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated. — Norm Macdonald

You can’t love your team without hating another team. — Norm Macdonald

I like doing a funny show where I don’t have to act and fall in love with a girl. — Norm Macdonald

Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite. — Norm Macdonald

few people love with the violence they hate Norm Macdonald quote

I have always loved Las Vegas. It’s a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that. — Norm Macdonald

In love, first please the eye, then win the heart. — Norm Macdonald

I love writing–it’s the best. But I really hate collaboration. — Norm Macdonald

Love is an artful arrangement of artless pretensions, whereby we labor to appear innocent in what we desire to be most cunning. — Norm Macdonald

A capacity for hating the object of desire is, perhaps, the best cure for love in cases of disappointment. — Norm Macdonald

instead of loving your enemies have no enemies to love Norm Macdonald quote

Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones. — Norm Macdonald

I like to do talk show appearances where I get to just be myself, and I do stand–up where I can completely be myself. That’s what I’ve always loved the most, of anything. — Norm Macdonald

Our passions may be compared to certain slaves––the more severity we show them, the better they obey us. — Norm Macdonald


I just hate plugs. It just doesn’t seem entertaining to me. I’ve never plugged anything in my life on a talk show ever. I understand people use that vehicle. It’s just not very entertaining. — Norm Macdonald

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer. — Norm Macdonald

note to self no matter how bad life gets there s always beer Norm Macdonald quote

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle. — Norm Macdonald

Generally I don’t like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don’t think that’s a very good thing to do with your life. — Norm Macdonald

Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone. — Norm Macdonald

The plain truth is that Adam Eget is an alcoholic and that’s why he doesn’t drink. Me, I’m not an alcoholic and that’s why I do drink. Life sure is funny that way. — Norm Macdonald

In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape. — Norm Macdonald

The only time having a cult following is a great thing is when you are actually in a cult. — Norm Macdonald


In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness. — Norm Macdonald

Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion. — Norm Macdonald

The vanity of being asked advice often makes us confirm the opinion of those that consult us. — Norm Macdonald

There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion. — Norm Macdonald

in giving advice aptitude is often less to be considered than seasonableness Norm Macdonald quote

The character of giving advice often makes us accountable for the conduct of those we advise. — Norm Macdonald

In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it. — Norm Macdonald

Redundant Thematics

In Norm Macdonald Statements



Death is a funny thing. Not funny haha, like a Woody Allen movie, but funny strange, like a Woody Allen marriage. — Norm Macdonald

Letterman is very intimidating because he’s so funny, so you have to be really prepared. Also, he’s a little squeamish about certain things, so you have to always be on guard to please him. — Norm Macdonald

I’ve just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn’t know them, I wouldn’t know they were funny from the television. I don’t know what it does, it just sucks it away. — Norm Macdonald

Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it’s inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? — Norm Macdonald

Inspiring Phrases From Norm Macdonald

He will not kick a man wHen He is down, eddie murphy, i realize, is not like tHe rest of us. eddie does not need tHe laughs. — Norm Macdonald

When I started in Canada, I just did stand–up. — Norm Macdonald

I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn’t; it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke. — Norm Macdonald

There hasn’t been an original voice in stand–up since Sam Kinison. — Norm Macdonald

when i started in canada i just did stand up Norm Macdonald quote

Televised stand–up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film. — Norm Macdonald

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous. — Norm Macdonald

I’m not original, but I strive toward it as much as possible. I tried really hard on Weekend Update to do something that I considered original, which was, I tried to cut all cleverness out of the joke. — Norm Macdonald

Various Statements From Norm Macdonald

Jealousy seldom punishes with the severity it suffers. — Norm Macdonald

I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up. — Norm Macdonald

jealousy seldom punishes with the severity it suffers Norm Macdonald quote

You’re trying your best to make people laugh; then if you fail, they hate you. But your intent’s the same. It’s not like you’re trying to do evil to them. — Norm Macdonald

Whenever I do theaters, I don’t like ’em. I don’t think they’re right for stand–up. — Norm Macdonald

Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny. — Norm Macdonald

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude. — Norm Macdonald

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical. — Norm Macdonald

whenever i do theaters i don t like em i don t think they re right for stand up Norm Macdonald quote

More Phrases From Norm Macdonald

There are these showcase clubs where 14 guys will go on in a row and people are laughing at everything, and I’m like–’I can’t laugh that much. That’s so weird to me.’ — Norm Macdonald

They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it. — Norm Macdonald

I never had any interest in sitcoms or motion pictures or anything like that. — Norm Macdonald

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money. — Norm Macdonald

Louis [C.K.] is great. But I don’t know how many you could do. — Norm Macdonald

i never had any interest in sitcoms or motion pictures or anything like that Norm Macdonald quote

If you watch that show and you didn’t know it was called Seinfeld, you’d think it was called ‘The George Costanza Show’. — Norm Macdonald


Norm Macdonald is a brilliant wordsmith with a lot of wisdom to share. We’ve just scratched the surface of his insights in this post, so be sure to check out our courses for more where that came from.

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