Well, you have a sweet bike. And you’re really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you’re like the only guy at school who has a mustache. — Napoleon Dynamite

Stay home and eat all the freakin’ chips, Kip! — Napoleon Dynamite

Outside, scratching ticket] ‘Yes! Three spuds! You picked a good one! That’s ten dollars! Yes! — Napoleon Dynamite

Cause I didn’t have a freakin’ choice. All the other sweet clubs were filled up. Gosh! — Napoleon Dynamite

Do the chickens have large talons? — Napoleon Dynamite

Tina, You Fat Lard, Come Get Some Dinner. Tina! Eat The FOOD! — Napoleon Dynamite

You don’t have to stay here with us, we’re not babies. — Napoleon Dynamite

I spent like three hours doing shading the upper lip. It’s probably the best drawing I’ve ever done. — Napoleon Dynamite

Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamor shots for her birthday one year. — Napoleon Dynamite

How long did it take you to grow that mustache? — Napoleon Dynamite

So, we’re pretty much friends by now, right? — Napoleon Dynamite

I See You’re Drinking 1%. Is That ‘Cause You Think You’re Fat? ‘Cause You’re Not. You Could Totally Be Drinking Whole If You Wanted To. — Napoleon Dynamite

Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time. — Napoleon Dynamite

Dang! You got shocks… pegs… Lucky! You ever taken off any sweet jumps? — Napoleon Dynamite

Why would I want to buy any of this girly crap? — Napoleon Dynamite

I already made like infinity of those at scout camp. — Napoleon Dynamite

You know, there’s like a butt–load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I’m pretty good with a bo staff. — Napoleon Dynamite

I Don’t Even Have Any Good Skills. You Know, Like Nunchuck Skills, Bow Hunting Skills, Computer Hacking Skills. Girls Only Want Boyfriends Who Have Great Skills! — Napoleon Dynamite

Yeah, it looks pretty sweet. It looks awesome. That suit, it’s… it’s incredible. — Napoleon Dynamite

It’s Pretty Much My Favorite Animal. It’s Like A Lion And A Tiger Mixed… Bred For Its Skills In Magic. — Napoleon Dynamite

What can I have for dinner? Kip ate the last frozen dinner! — Napoleon Dynamite

Tina, come get some ham. — Napoleon Dynamite

I could make that much money in five seconds! — Napoleon Dynamite

Why don’t you go eat a decroded piece of crap? — Napoleon Dynamite

Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can’t fit my numchucks in there anymore. — Napoleon Dynamite

Yeah, Right. Who’s The One That Knows Illegal Ninja Moves From The Government? — Napoleon Dynamite

Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my ChapStick? — Napoleon Dynamite

No, I’m freakin’ starving! I didn’t get to eat *anything* today. — Napoleon Dynamite