The Best Joe Rogan quotes

Jiu–Jitsu has been one of the most valuable tools I’ve ever had in my life. — Joe Rogan

If life wasn’t real it would be the craziest psychedelic trip ever — Joe Rogan

To really appreciate life you got to know you’re going to die. — Joe Rogan

Life is about the pursuit of excellence. That pursuit is probably more exciting to me now more than ever. — Joe Rogan

I’ve been inspired by a shitload of people in my life so if there’s ever anybody that I can inspire, to me that’s a huge gift. To be able to turn that back around. — Joe Rogan

Live your life like you’re the hero in your movie and right now. — Joe Rogan

One of the most fascinating lessons I’ve absorbed about life is that the struggle is good. — Joe Rogan

I love a success story, but even more than a success story; I like a dude who f***s his life up and gets his life together again story. — Joe Rogan

We have to start treating each other as if we are treating ourselves living another life. — Joe Rogan

I prefer older people to college kids [as audience] for the most part. I want people with life experience, people that understand where I’m coming from. — Joe Rogan

It’s like I always say. When life gives you lemons, you sell some of your grandma’s jewelry, and go clubbing. — Jean Ralphio

If you can control what you eat, you can control all other aspects of your life. — Joe Rogan

By putting yourself in that intense form of stress, it makes regular life more peaceful. — Joe Rogan

Life is strange. You keep moving and keep moving. Before you know it, you look back and thing, ‘What was that?’ — Joe Rogan

Be the hero of your own story. — Joe Rogan

I think stand is better now than it’s ever been. I think it’s the greatest time ever to do standup comedy. — Joe Rogan

I do cagefight commentary in my spare time. — Joe Rogan

The time you spend hating on someone robs you of your own time. You are literally hating on yourself and you don’t even realize it. — Joe Rogan

Houston people are way cool. They’re smart, they know how to have a good time, and they have the hottest chicks on the planet there. — Joe Rogan

The people I know that have the hardest time keeping it together emotionally are people that don’t workout. — Joe Rogan

The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don’t know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time. — Joe Rogan

I realized a long time ago that instead of being jealous you can be inspired and appreciative. It carries more energy to you. — Joe Rogan

That’s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard. — Joe Rogan

The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone. — Joe Rogan

If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they’re brooding all the time. — Joe Rogan

I’ve done jiujitsu a huge chunk of my life, and I try to spend a lot of time educating people on the nuances, the subtleness of the ground game. It’s a big part of mixed martial arts. — Joe Rogan

Comedy shows in D.C. are so much fun. I think because of the intense area that is connected to politics that people need, they need their down time. D.C. audiences are almost universally praised by comedians. — Joe Rogan

I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my standup act constantly. It was a dream gig. — Joe Rogan

I don’t really like actors. Actors are like terrible comedians with no punch lines. It’s all about them. They talk about themselves all the time. They bore the sh–t out of you. — Joe Rogan

It never hurt Lenny Bruce’s career to get arrested for swearing. It did back in the time, but he broke those doors down by doing the stuff that he believed in. — Joe Rogan

So many times I’ve done a CD, and then the week after I record it, I’ve got this new tagline that’s killer. And it makes the whole bit better. It happens all the time. But that’s just the process of comedy. — Joe Rogan

Work for that feeling that you have accomplished something…Don’t waste your time on this earth without making a mark. — Joe Rogan

People want their 15 minutes and are willing to do anything to get it. — Joe Rogan

We will still have clips up on youtube but full versions of the show will only be on spotify. — Joe Rogan

But it’s hard for a chick to do comedy. It’s not as open for them. — Joe Rogan

To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don’t really worry that much about what other people think of me. — Joe Rogan

The two things I understand best are stand–up comedy and martial arts. And those things require an ultimate grasp of the truth. You have to be objective about your skills and abilities to compete in both. — Joe Rogan

Comedy is really not like any other art form in that it’s very specialized and varied in it’s content, but generic in it’s title. — Joe Rogan

Not all comedy clubs or situations are ideal, especially when you’re first coming up and I think that’s good for you. Eventually you get to express your real personality. — Joe Rogan

If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it? — Joe Rogan

Have you ever talked to someone, and you’re not even really talking to them? Actors are the worst for that. — Joe Rogan

My company is called Talking Monkey, Inc. It’s because that’s what I think all people are: talking monkeys. — Joe Rogan

I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking. — Joe Rogan

If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe. — Joe Rogan

Be not arrogant when fortune smiles, or dejected when she frowns. — Decimius Magnus

Never elated while one man’s oppress’d; Never dejected while another’s blessed. — Alexander Pope

When you’re away, I’m restless, lonely, wretched, bored, dejected; only here’s the rub, my darling dear, I feel the same when you’re near. — Samuel Hoffenstein

Even when you’re feeling dejected, don’t avoid the problem, confront it. That way you’ll eventually realize that your dreams are in fact attainable — Yunho

I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England. — C.

When you speak to any, especially of quality, look them full in the face; other gestures betraying want of breeding, confidence, or honesty; dejected eyes confessing, to most judgments, guilt or folly. — Frances Osborne

I’m a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them. — Joe Rogan

The mind is the most important thing of the big picture and no one has a stronger mindset than amateur wrestlers. — Joe Rogan

The sensory deprivation chamber has been the most important tool that I’ve ever used for developing my mind — Joe Rogan

Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to people. I think that’s why everybody loved him so much. — Joe Rogan

He that can heroically endure adversity will bear prosperity with equal greatest of the soul; for the mind that cannot be dejected by the former is not likely to be transported without the latter. — Ralph Waldo

The audience changes every night. You’re the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh. — Joe Rogan

Build confidence and momentum with each good decision you make from here on out and choose to be inspired. — Joe Rogan

There’s only 2 reasons that you hate gay marriage; 1. You’re dumb, or 2. You’re secretly worried that dicks are delicious. — Joe Rogan

I really never thought people would think that I was funny, I thought (my friends) thought I was funny because I was their friend, but other people would just think I was an asshole. I was at least partly right. — Joe Rogan

I thought eventually I’d have a family and I really didn’t want to be a loser like that guy in his 40s still shopping his band’s shitty demo tapes around. — Joe Rogan

People for the most part can smell lies, at least I thought that until I saw audiences applaud at Carlos Mencia. — Joe Rogan

The Comedy Store in LA, it’s a really loose room and it’s really dark and creepy and a great place to explore your own thoughts onstage. — Joe Rogan

Herbert said of himself, with his eyes fixed on the fire, that he thought he must have committed a felony and forgotten the details of it, he felt so dejected and guilty. — Charles Dickens

I’m a nightclub comic. That’s what I do. I work in the clubs uncensored because my mind is uncensored, and those are the thoughts that I have. I do the kind of comedy that I would enjoy seeing. — Joe Rogan