The Best Janeane Garofalo quotes

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Known for her quick wit and acerbic humor, Janeane Garofalo is a successful actress, comedian, and writer. She has starred in many films and television shows, and is considered a pioneer of independent stand-up comedy. In this blog post, we’ll take a look at her life and career, and see what makes her one of the most successful entrepreneurs today.

Here are the best Americans quotes from Janeane Garofalo, and much more.


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About Janeane Garofalo

birth of the author

September 28, 1964

medium of the author

Stand-Up, Film, Television, Radio

date of the author

Years Active:

genre of the author

Alternative Comedy


Silence does not equal patriotism. Obedience is not the American way. — Janeane Garofalo

When I see the American flag, I go, ‘Oh my God, you’re insulting me.’ — Janeane Garofalo

How is it that this debate has been twisted on its head, that somehow those that advocate peace and diplomacy are anti–American? — Janeane Garofalo

Conservative talk radio hosts have conned the American people into thinking there is such a thing as a pro–life, pro–war, pro–gun, pro–death penalty Christian. — Janeane Garofalo

silence does not equal patriotism obedience is not the american way Janeane Garofalo quote

I feel like the American people are being lied to and manipulated. President Bush is trying to force 9/11 and Saddam together. — Janeane Garofalo

Inspiring Phrases From Janeane Garofalo

For my stand–up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I’ll write it down. — Janeane Garofalo

I don’t enjoy sparring with the audience. It devastates me. — Janeane Garofalo

I guess I just prefer to see the dark sIde of thIngs. the glass Is always half empty. and cracked. and I just cut my lIp on It. and chIpped a tooth. — Janeane Garofalo

Also, as I’ve gotten older and more mature, I’ve become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand–up, that’s reflected onstage. — Janeane Garofalo

i don t enjoy sparring with the audience it devastates me Janeane Garofalo quote

You know, I’ve had Botox. The woman who does it is very good, obviously. Very conservative. — Janeane Garofalo

I don’t really have a theatre background at all. — Janeane Garofalo

I was too ignorant to realize, ‘Oh, this will be difficult. — Janeane Garofalo

Various Statements From Janeane Garofalo

It’s mentally exhausting, feeling bad about something you can do nothing about. — Janeane Garofalo

The Bible, I’ve said it before, is a beautifully written work of fiction. — Janeane Garofalo

it s mentally exhausting feeling bad about something you can do nothing about Janeane Garofalo quote

Rejection kills, disappointment only maims. — Janeane Garofalo

Irrational crushes, infatuations, or obsessions. Whatever you want to label it, it’s important to reach out to others. — Janeane Garofalo

You can’t have cinema by committee if you’re trying to do it well. — Janeane Garofalo

I don’t have a good work ethic. I have a real casual relationship with hours. — Janeane Garofalo

All roads lead to my dogs, don’t they? — Janeane Garofalo

the bible i ve said it before is a beautifully written work of fiction Janeane Garofalo quote

More Phrases From Janeane Garofalo

It is not crazy to think that powerful people do some pretty horrible things. And maybe they get out of hand. Maybe it just gets away from them. It snowballs. — Janeane Garofalo

Redundant Thematics

In Janeane Garofalo Statements


You know, I have no web presence, and I don’t know that there’s many people who really do know me that much anymore. — Janeane Garofalo

Boy, does that give you street cred for years after, if you tell people you were on ‘The Larry Sanders Show!’ — Janeane Garofalo

I got mugged. And they got my knapsack with my comedy notebook in it. So if anybody see two cholos bombing at the Funny Bone chain, that would be them. Just give me a jingle. — Janeane Garofalo

Sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship. — Janeane Garofalo

sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship Janeane Garofalo quote

You have to have a lot more dedication to what I’ll call ‘the machine,’ … I have 20 percent dedication. What’s needed is 110 percent. You can’t have it with the level of apathy I have. — Janeane Garofalo

You know, there’s nothing more interesting than seeing a bunch of racists become confused and angry at a speech they’re not quite certain what he’s saying. — Janeane Garofalo

Deeper Quotes From Janeane Garofalo

Blood may be thicker than water, but it is still sticky, unpleasant and generally nauseating. — Janeane Garofalo

Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking. — Janeane Garofalo

I don’t know who you’re referring to exactly who said, ‘What has Iraq done to us?’ — Janeane Garofalo

i don t know who you re referring to exactly who said what has iraq done to us Janeane Garofalo quote

I’m not religious anymore, but I think it’s like papal infallibility, which is a ridiculous man–made tenet, like what I believe most religious tenets to be, are man–made after the fact. — Janeane Garofalo

The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth. — Janeane Garofalo

If you aren’t overly effusive or really nicey–nice with the press, you get a reputation for being outspoken or difficult. — Janeane Garofalo

To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first. — Janeane Garofalo


Janeane Garofalo is a brilliant and hilarious actress, writer, and stand-up comic. She has also spoken out about her struggles with mental health. In times of darkness, it’s important to remember the words of those who have come before us and found the light again. These quotes from Janeane Garofalo are sure to inspire you to keep going when things get tough. Thanks for following our blog post series on mental health awareness this month. Be sure to check out our courses if you want to learn more about how to support your loved ones (or yourself) through difficult times.

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