The Best Howard Stern quotes

I will never feel successful. — Howard Stern

I feel blessed, I really feel fulfilled. — Howard Stern

I still feel like I gotta prove something. There are a lot of people hoping I fail. But I like that. I need to be hated. — Howard Stern

Okay, well, I guess I’m still a kid. Because when I get really angry and fired up and I feel like my back is up against the wall, I will say vicious things. — Howard Stern

I’m not looking for a paycheck. — Howard Stern

I wanted to go hide. I wasn’t looking to be more famous, I’m famous enough. — Howard Stern

I believe we will start believing in God as we get closer to death. — Howard Stern

I believe in censorship when it benefits me. — Howard Stern

Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that’s all you’ve got, you’re dead in the water. It’s not good. — Howard Stern

I don’t like being 50 and I don’t like thinking about death. — Howard Stern

Relationships are based on trust until you meet someone new. — Howard Stern

There’s a saying that my mom actually used to say to me when I was a kid, which is, ‘A fatherless child thinks all things are possible and nothing is safe. — Howard Stern

I’ve come to appreciate other people’s talents. — Howard Stern

I think people of lesser talent will become stars. — Howard Stern

Talent is what drives this world … Doesn’t matter how many satellites you f–––ing stick in the air. — Howard Stern

I’m sure some people might be offended by that, but this is my feeling about show business. It’s not all about pure talent. There are certain people who command a stage because they look good ,like me. — Howard Stern

I’m at a point in my career, I’ve been around a long time now, over 35 years in broadcasting. I don’t worry about much. I respect what America’s Got Talent is. It is a family show. It is a show that I love. — Howard Stern

Most of the things I do are misunderstood. Hey, after all, being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses, is it not? — Howard Stern

I’m a believer that satellite radio, whether I’m on it or not, will take off. — Howard Stern

There are things that I won’t do on the radio. I mean, the next logical question is, what won’t you do. I say, well, you know, you’ve got to find out when you’re on the air. — Howard Stern

I’ve never come into anything successful before. I’ve always been hired by horrible radio stations with horrendous reputations and nothing to lose. — Howard Stern

I don’t think there’s one thing I’ve ever said on the radio that would have been found indecent or obscene. — Howard Stern

Every time I went on the radio, I would take the crummiest radio station, the station that was like a toilet bowl. I would go on there and build up the ratings, so you couldn’t do any worse. — Howard Stern

I’ve always been about honesty, whether on the radio, whether I did a movie, whether I wrote a book. As long as you’re honest, you don’t lose your edge. — Howard Stern

I will never vote Democrat again, they are Communists. — Howard Stern

I think I’m probably a little too desperate to be successful. — Howard Stern

I’m the voice of honesty. — Howard Stern

What a crazy idea to put me on a family show! — Howard Stern

Nothing is casual. Everything requires work, research, and thought. Agonize. Take it seriously. Don’t leave it up to someone else, and don’t phone it in. — Howard Stern

Why be uptight about bowel movements and sex? We all have sex. We all have penises––except for those of us who have vaginas. — Howard Stern

Well, first of all, I’m worth every penny. — Howard Stern

I’m in a war, a cultural war. — Howard Stern

When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours a day for you and never, ever burn his audience. — Howard Stern

I am completely pissed off that I’m circumcised. — Howard Stern

Rick Shapiro is a top comedian. — Howard Stern

You’ve got to be a little vicious. You’ve got to be narcissistic. You’ve got to be on fire about your career. — Howard Stern

Late night television is ready for someone like me… standards have gone to an all–time low. — Howard Stern

It’s okay for a man to commit adultery if his wife is ugly. — Howard Stern

If you’re a Christian you don’t sit there and worry about what somebody else is doing, if they’re happy and they’re committed in a relationship. — Howard Stern

It causes me great pain to sue the company I work for. Nevertheless, I had to do it. Suffice it to say, there’s a dispute and I believe I haven’t been given what is mine. — Howard Stern

I believe I am doing the work for humanity. This show is so uplifting. — Howard Stern

My show was revolutionary, ground–breaking. When I came on the scene, people were not doing a thing. — Howard Stern

The New York Times’ list is a bunch of crap. They ought to call it the editor’s choice. It sure isn’t based on sales. — Howard Stern

You can’t be a rebel if there aren’t any rules. — Howard Stern

We are busy planning the launch of the channel. I am busy planning all kinds of events that go on the channel without me. I have started producing a sound for the channel. — Howard Stern

Don’t let the government win. — Howard Stern

I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you know? I really do. — Howard Stern

I always resented the label of ‘shock jock’ that the press came up wIth for me. because I never IntentIonally set out to shock anybody. — Howard Stern

Mike Walker is the Hemingway of gossip. — Howard Stern

I’m on the air five hours, and I blurt out anything in my head. Dangerous? Maybe. — Howard Stern

I’m trapped inside of me and I don’t go out at all. I go to bed at eight o’clock at night. I never go out during the week. I’m in psychotherapy four days a week, pretty heavy commitment to it. — Howard Stern

I’m down with just the Backstreet Boys. — Howard Stern