You live by the cake, you die by the cake. — Gabriel Iglesias

I don’t want to die tomorrow knowing I could’ve had a piece of cake tonight. — Gabriel Iglesias

Drama is not my passion. If I do it, it’s for a check. It’s not what I want to do. Comedy’s my thing. Stand up’s my thing. Everything that comes from that is frosting on the cake. — Gabriel Iglesias

I’m not on a diet. And it’s funny cause people go ‘Well, then why do you drink diet soda?’ So I can eat regular cake. — Gabriel Iglesias

I know enough football to know that’s funny! — Gabriel Iglesias

I want to be known as a funny comic not just a funny Latino comic. I want to be able to go everywhere and anywhere. — Gabriel Iglesias

I have always been told that I was a funny, entertaining person and have always been told to give comedy a try. — Gabriel Iglesias

When I was a kid I did impressions and funny voices a lot. When I was telling a story I would use the voices to make it more entertaining. — Gabriel Iglesias

By putting myself out there the way I’ve been doing people see me as a real person. Even though I do character voices and funny noises the stories are still real and I put them all out there. — Gabriel Iglesias

I don’t wanna just be remembered for the funniest guy in my neighborhood. — Gabriel Iglesias

You wonder why I only talk about my personal life. But that’s all I’ve ever done. — Gabriel Iglesias

I don’t get controversial, I don’t get political and I don’t tell you what to do with your life. I just go out there and tell some stories, and people can relate. — Gabriel Iglesias

Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years. — Gabriel Iglesias

Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were? — Gabriel Iglesias

If you put your personal stories out there people always connect. — Gabriel Iglesias

I was very dirty; I was a very dirty comic. There was no way I would have gotten on TV with the act I had when I first started. — Gabriel Iglesias

Hanging out with comics, all they did was make fun of me. — Gabriel Iglesias

I know what it’s like to have a family and not have insurance and really need it. As a comic, insurance was one of those sacrifices I made early on until I could afford it. — Gabriel Iglesias

Some comics don’t like it when people talk during the set, and it does get a little bit annoying after awhile, but I basically let people dictate what jokes I’m going to do. — Gabriel Iglesias

For me, the hardest thing was dropping the whole Latino comic title. — Gabriel Iglesias

I see a Latino comic as someone who can only perform for Latino audiences. I cross the board. — Gabriel Iglesias

I never go perform somewhere alone. I’ve done that since day one. I’ve always taken other comics with me. — Gabriel Iglesias

I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I’m doing. If I can keep this going, I’m happy. — Gabriel Iglesias

When you’re a comedian, the Holy Grail is an hour long HBO special. — Gabriel Iglesias

When I go to dance clubs, I always dance with big girls, so we finish at the same time. — Gabriel Iglesias

I got off the plane–I was walking and cooking at the same time. — Gabriel Iglesias

I get a lot of influence from pro wrestling. People are like, ‘Oh, it’s fake.’ But it’s not about whether the guy wins or loses, it’s about how he entertains you the whole time you’re watching. — Gabriel Iglesias

I talked about the stuff so openly that people are able to connect and relate. I put everything out there [into the network], and if I’m having a bad time, people know about it. — Gabriel Iglesias

I remember seeing Eddie Murphy RAW and seeing people laughing and having a good time and that was the same response I was getting so I thought I was on to something. — Gabriel Iglesias

At the time, it was a really funny joke [Fluffy] and I went back and forth with going against the joke or embrace it. I decided to embrace it and now we’re talking about it, so it was a good call. — Gabriel Iglesias

Connecting with people is not hard. I love the interaction and the feedback after shows. It does take some time, but the fans appreciate it which makes it worth it. — Gabriel Iglesias

My material never comes out verbatim every time. I always tweak in a line, or tweak away a line, gain a couple tags or lose a couple tags. The timing is always off. — Gabriel Iglesias

Anything is possible as long as you’re focused, determined and you really want to do it. — Gabriel Iglesias

When you go to Hawaii, it’s all about ‘Aloha.’ It means hello, goodbye and I love you. — Gabriel Iglesias

I love Australia. First of all, everyone is so nice. The people are down to Earth, and they like having fun with you. — Gabriel Iglesias

Understand that you don’t know it all. You don’t know anything yet. What you’ve been taught is great, but always go with common sense. And don’t marry your first love. — Gabriel Iglesias

As far as guys who perform onstage, I love Chris Rock. I’m kind of jaded on everyone else. — Gabriel Iglesias

People see a big dude and they hear that high pitched voice or ‘Eglasias with an ‘I” and love it because they can relate and go ‘I know that person!’. — Gabriel Iglesias

I like to tell old jokes on stage after about an hour, or an hour and a half. I’ll bring those old ones back because the fans love them. — Gabriel Iglesias

Every night, it’s a bakery on the bus. It’s a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring me cake. And now I just found out I’m diabetic, so I’m like, are you kidding me?! — Gabriel Iglesias

I was a big fan of Rodney Dangerfield. He had this HBO Young Comedians Special and he’d always bring up new talent, and I loved that! — Gabriel Iglesias

The only way I will do a sitcom is if it’s hurled at me, and I don’t have to work for it. — Gabriel Iglesias

There’s been a lot of guys that come out of Texas who have made it really big. So it’s not a geographic thing, it’s a how hard are you willing to work for it. — Gabriel Iglesias

I’m always ready for TV. I don’t have to edit my jokes–when you work clean, you can work anywhere. — Gabriel Iglesias

You gotta live life before you can talk about it. Sometimes when things don’t work out in life, they work out on stage. — Gabriel Iglesias

I bought a Hummer before I bought a house, and then I bought a house. Every year, everything doubled. The work was doubling. The money was doubling. The popularity was doubling. — Gabriel Iglesias

A lot of the comedians nowadays just do comedy as a stepping stone. Take for example Dane Cook. The guy is huge. The main reason he got into it is to do what he is doing now: film and television work. — Gabriel Iglesias

Being on TV sucks. It’s a lot of work. You memorize scripts and then you show up and they change everything. I’m a control freak. When I’m doing stand–up, I say what I want and then I get instant feedback. — Gabriel Iglesias