That’s what life is all about. There’s a lot of crying. So you’d better cry now and get used to it. — Ellen Degeneres

If you’re in a position where you can help other people, there is nothing better in life than helping other people. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! — Ellen Degeneres

But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let’s get our priorities straight. I think we all know what’s really important in life–winning an Oscar. — Ellen Degeneres

I don’t really ever live my life in fear. I really live my life in gratitude and feeling positive for the most part. — Ellen Degeneres

Penguins mate for life. Which doesn’t really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It’s not like they’re gonna meet a better–looking penguin someday. — Ellen Degeneres

When life gives you lemons….they could really be oranges. — Ellen Degeneres

Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days. — Ellen Degeneres

The most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity and to not give in to peer pressure to try to be something that you’re not. — Ellen Degeneres

Gratitude is looking on the brighter side of the life, even if it means hurting your eyes. — Ellen Degeneres

I do have ADD and in real life, I’m all over the place and can hardly focus. If we were talking for, for more than an hour or so, I’d start drifting off… I can’t sit still too long. — Ellen Degeneres

We should be grateful for them because without our family–the ancestors we descend from, the cousins we see once a year, the loves our lives we see every day–life is pretty boring. — Ellen Degeneres

There are all sorts of books offering advice on how to deal with life–threatening situations, but where’s the advice on dealing with embarrassing ones? — Ellen Degeneres

It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive. — Ellen Degeneres

Save a life this Thanksgiving, and join me in starting a new tradition by adopting a turkey instead of eating one through Farm Sanctuary’s Adopt–A–Turkey Project. — Ellen Degeneres

My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada. — Ellen Degeneres

I don’t know what we would do, I thInk that perIod of tIme was sort of nostalgIc, Ellen Degeneres know ? — Ellen Degeneres

I won’t have a hard time being brutally honest. But I won’t be mean. You don’t have to be mean to be honest. — Ellen Degeneres

When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show. — Ellen Degeneres

I like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. — Ellen Degeneres

I prefer to believe that people are good and honest and respect me enough to tell me the truth. It’s not easy to find those people all the time, but they’re out there. — Ellen Degeneres

I had done a sitcom and a movie and hosted the Emmys, and all of a sudden, I lost everything. As someone put it at the time, I was suddenly like a Ferrari in neutral. — Ellen Degeneres

I didn’t go to college at all, any college, and I’m not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I’m a huge celebrity. — Ellen Degeneres

Normally, I try not to pay attention to my haters, but this time I’d like to talk about it, because my haters are my motivators. — Ellen Degeneres

I still have the shirt I wore my first time on Johnny Carson’s show. Only now I use it as a tablecloth at dinner parties. It was very blousy. — Ellen Degeneres

I always worry when someone’s a good golfer. It’s like you shouldn’t have time to be good at anything. You should just be a politician and you shouldn’t have time to practice golf. — Ellen Degeneres

We all feel like idiots at one time or another. Even if we feel we’re cool 98 percent of the time, that 2–percent doofus is poised to take over our bodies without any warning. — Ellen Degeneres

There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don’t even understand how anyone would want that job at all. Although I would be able to play golf which I don’t seem to have time now. — Ellen Degeneres

It’s just, you can get very complacent if you do the same thing all the time and especially the comedian, it gives me you know different things to react to and respond to, and it stimulates me. — Ellen Degeneres

So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we’ve checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius. — Ellen Degeneres

There’s always time to do things that you’re passionate about. … If my name helps get something out there that I believe in then I am going to produce it. … Design is really my true love. — Ellen Degeneres

Answers to Frequently Asked Questions: Yes. Yes. No. One time in high school. Three times in my twenties. Rocks no salt. Yes. Four. Never. And how dare you! I will take no further questions. — Ellen Degeneres

One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine. — Ellen Degeneres

People give me such a hard time because I don’t wear dresses. What’s that got to do with anything? — Ellen Degeneres

There is something about TM. It is the only time I have that stillness… It gives me this peaceful feeling–I just love it so much. — Ellen Degeneres

What you look like on the outside is not what makes you cool at all. I mean, I had a mullet and wore parachute pants for a long, long time, and I’m doin’ okay. — Ellen Degeneres

I had gone through a tough tIme. I lost my career for a lIttle whIle. thIs show was my second chance, and It turns out, It also helped other people. — Ellen Degeneres

Have you seen the deer heads on the walls of bars, the ones wearing party hats, sunglasses and streamers? I feel sorry for them because obviously they were at a party having a good time. — Ellen Degeneres

Standup is more me talking the entire time. There’s definitely an exchange of energy because that room, that audience, is giving back. — Ellen Degeneres

I had a really tough time for a few years. My show was gone. My phone wasn’t ringing. There wasn’t one job offer. And at that point, I thought I knew for sure that I wouldn’t work in Hollywood again. — Ellen Degeneres

I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon. — Ellen Degeneres

The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself. — Ellen Degeneres

A lot of money with the wrong career is not going to make you happy. If you have money without happiness, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s all about happiness. — Ellen Degeneres

I’m glad I’m funny. I’m glad I make people happy, because that’s very important. But I’m proud to be known as a kind person. — Ellen Degeneres

We put the wrong emphasis on what beauty is and what health is. Health is being vibrant and having energy and being happy. — Ellen Degeneres

Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system. — Ellen Degeneres

The first person I learned I could make happy with laughter was my mother, whom I idolize. It was a powerful thing to realize. I knew I had found my life’s work. — Ellen Degeneres

Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work. — Ellen Degeneres

I have the picture of Barack [Obama] and me dancing right outside of my dressing room door, I see it every single day, and it makes me very happy. — Ellen Degeneres

I’ve got a lot to say about television. There’s a lot going on in television right now and I feel like a huge part of television. — Ellen Degeneres

All we have is here and now. That’s why procrastination feels so right. Procrastination isn’t the problem, it’s the solution. — Ellen Degeneres

Though you feel you’re not where you’re suppose to be, you shouldn’t worry because that next turn that you take, it will lead you to where you wanna go. — Ellen Degeneres

I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises. — Ellen Degeneres

It feels good. Kinda like when you have to shut your computer down, just sometimes when it goes crazy, you just shut it down and when you turn it on, it’s okay again. That’s what meditation is to me. — Ellen Degeneres

When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it’s hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn’t feel like me. — Ellen Degeneres

The world is filled with negativity. I want people to watch me and think, ‘I feel good, and I’m going to make somebody else feel good today. — Ellen Degeneres

Did you ever feel like the whole world was going to a party and your invitation got lost in the mail? — Ellen Degeneres

I’m a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think you’re supposed to feel all kinds of things. — Ellen Degeneres

I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That’s really why I do what I do. — Ellen Degeneres

I don’t need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I’m going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old–fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before. — Ellen Degeneres

If anybody could put themselves in that situation of feeling a giant loud voice saying you don’t deserve the same rights, you are different and you are not equal, it feels really bad. — Ellen Degeneres

We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that. — Ellen Degeneres

I’m going to be kind, because then it all just kind of spreads, and the world is a little nicer out there. — Ellen Degeneres

Something big happened over the weekend. Something that affects everybody, all over the world. George Clooney got married. — Ellen Degeneres

I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness–and then the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day, I’m a human trying to make it through in this world. — Ellen Degeneres

Most people don’t get to laugh, be free, dance, be surrounded by this energy. It’s important to remind people to take that home. I want the world to start shifting [to] a more positive energy. — Ellen Degeneres

The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift. — Ellen Degeneres

I hate having to do small talk. I’d rather talk about deep subjects. I’d rather talk about meditation, or the world, or the trees or animals, than small, inane, you know, banter. — Ellen Degeneres