The Best Dorothy Parker quotes

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In the early 1900s, Dorothy Parker was a literary critic and short story writer. She is well known for her sharp wit and her dry humor. Her writing was often satirical in nature, poking fun at upper class society. Parker’s most famous quote: I hate writing but I love having written, speaks to the fact that she did not care about fame or fortune; she cared about putting out quality work as quickly as possible with little regard for its reception by critics or readership. In 1922, Dorothy Parker moved to Hollywood where she worked on screenplays and scripts alongside some of the biggest names in Hollywood history including John Huston, Frank Capra, George Cukor and William Faulkner amongst others.
We are glad to present you the most known statements from Dorothy Parker.

Discover the most known Books, Money, Love, Being Dead, Giving, Heart quotes from Dorothy Parker, and much more.


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About Dorothy Parker

birth of the author

August 22, 1893

death of the author

June 7, 1967

occupation of the author

Author, Poet, Critic, Screenwriter

country of the author


genre of the author

Poetry, Satire, Short Stories, Criticism, Essays

movement of the author

Literary Movement:
American Modernism

award of the author

Notable Works:
Enough Rope, Sunset Gun, A Star Is Born

award of the author

Notable Awards:
O. Henry Award 1929


Money is only congealed snow. โ€” Dorothy Parker

I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamondโ€“studded wheelchair. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Hollywood money isn’t money. It’s congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are. โ€” Dorothy Parker

money is only congealed snow Dorothy Parker quote

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Despite his persecutions, Mr. [Upton] Sinclair reveals himself in Money Writes! to be an enviable man. Always the thing he desires to believe is the thing he feels he knows to be true. โ€” Dorothy Parker


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Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill. Shame and woe to us, if we our wealth obey; The horse doth with the horseman away. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Sure, you make money writing on the coast … but that money is like so much compressed snow. It goes so fast it melts in your hand. โ€” Dorothy Parker

When asked what was the inspiration for most of her work:] Need of money, dear. โ€” Dorothy Parker

money cannot buy health but i d settle for a diamond studded wheelchair Dorothy Parker quote


But I don’t give up; I forget why not. โ€” Dorothy Parker

I shall stay the way I am because I do not gIve a damn. โ€” Dorothy Parker

If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn. โ€” Dorothy Parker

She can sit up and beg, and she can give her pawโ€“I don’t say she will, but she can. โ€” Dorothy Parker

I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for. โ€” Dorothy Parker

but i don t give up i forget why not Dorothy Parker quote

Sometimes I think I’ll give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan all day. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Guns aren’t lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful. So you might as well live. โ€” Dorothy Parker

I give her sadness and the gift of pain, a new moon madness and a love of rain. โ€” Dorothy Parker

I won’t telephone him. I’ll never telephone him again as long as I live. He’ll rot in hell before I’ll call him up. You don’t have to give me strength. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Rรฉsumรฉ Razors pain you, Rivers are damp, Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren’t lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells awful. You might as well live. โ€” Dorothy Parker

i shall stay the way i am because i do not give a damn Dorothy Parker quote

I was the toast of two continents: Greenland and Australia. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened! โ€” Dorothy Parker

London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Somebody was using the pencil. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Now, look, baby, ‘Union’ is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a fourโ€“letter word. โ€” Dorothy Parker

she can sit up and beg and she can give her paw i don t say she will but she can Dorothy Parker quote


Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you! โ€” Dorothy Parker

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? โ€” Dorothy Parker

Four be the things I’d have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt. โ€” Dorothy Parker

I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them. โ€” Dorothy Parker

The sun’s gone dim, and the moon’s gone black. For I loved him, and he didn’t love back. โ€” Dorothy Parker

if love is blind why is lingerie so popular Dorothy Parker quote

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Oh, seek, my love, your newer way; I’ll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow! โ€” Dorothy Parker

I hate writing, I love having written. โ€” Dorothy Parker

The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea; and love is thing that can never go wrong; and i am marie of romania. โ€” Dorothy Parker

four be the things i d have been better without love curiosity freckles and doubt Dorothy Parker quote

My first love was Cinderella, but she ran off with another man. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away. โ€” Dorothy Parker

I shudder at the thought of men…. I’m due to fall in love again โ€” Dorothy Parker

Redundant Thematics

In Dorothy Parker Statements


Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.) โ€” Dorothy Parker

Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you. โ€” Dorothy Parker

the sun s gone dim and the moon s gone black for i loved him and he didn t love back Dorothy Parker quote

Tell him I was too fucking busyโ€“or vice versa. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion. โ€” Dorothy Parker


People ought to be one of two things, young or dead. โ€” Dorothy Parker

On hearing that President Coolidge was dead:] How can you tell? โ€” Dorothy Parker

If I had any decency, I’d be dead. Most of my friends are. โ€” Dorothy Parker

people ought to be one of two things young or dead Dorothy Parker quote

Don’t feel bad when I die; I’ve been dead for a long time. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Accursed from their birth they be Who seek to find monogamy, Pursuing it from bed to bedโ€“I think they would be better dead. โ€” Dorothy Parker

From a window in the Writer’s Building at MGM, which overlooked a cemetery:] Hello down there. It might interest you to know that up here we are just as dead as you are. โ€” Dorothy Parker


Her big heart did not, as is so sadly often the case, inhabit a big bosom. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Where’s the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown? โ€” Dorothy Parker

her big heart did not as is so sadly often the case inhabit a big bosom Dorothy Parker quote

And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned. โ€” Dorothy Parker

If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think ‘How lucky are the dead. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Because your eyes are slant and slow, Because your hair is sweet to touch, My heart is high again; but oh, I doubt if this will get me much. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Travel, trouble, music, art, a kiss, a frock, a rhymeโ€“โ€“I never said they feed my heart, but still they pass my time. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you; And that cleans up the matter. โ€” Dorothy Parker

where s the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown Dorothy Parker quote


It’s easier to write about those you hateโ€“just as it’s easier to criticize a bad play or a bad book. โ€” Dorothy Parker

This must be a gift book. That is to say a book, which you wouldn’t take on any other terms. โ€” Dorothy Parker

Why, after all, should readers never be harrowed? Surely there is enough happiness in life without having to go to books for it. โ€” Dorothy Parker

His books are exciting and powerful andโ€“if I may filch the word from the booksy onesโ€“pulsing. โ€” Dorothy Parker

So, you’re the man who can’t spell ‘fuck.” Dorothy Parker to Norman Mailer after publishers had convinced Mailer to replace the word with a euphemism, ‘fug,’ in his 1948 book, ‘The Naked and the Dead. โ€” Dorothy Parker

i don t want to review books any more it cuts in too much on my reading Dorothy Parker quote

Anthologists are lazy fellows who like to spend a quiet evening at home raiding good books. โ€” Dorothy Parker

If this world were anything near what it should be there would be no more need of a Book Week than there would be a of a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. โ€” Dorothy Parker

I’m of the glamorous ladies At whose beckoning history shook. But you are a man, and see only my pan, So I stay at home with a book. โ€” Dorothy Parker

On Edna Ferber’s Ice Palace] … the book, which is going to be a movie, has the plot and characters of a book which is going to be a movie. โ€” Dorothy Parker

On Lou Tellegen’s Women Have Been Kind:] The book … has all the elegance of a quirked little finger and all the glitter of a pair of new rubbers. โ€” Dorothy Parker

I don’t want to review books any more. It cuts in too much on my reading. โ€” Dorothy Parker

I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours. โ€” Dorothy Parker

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