The Best Dean Martin quotes

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What do Dean Martin and entrepreneurship have in common? Inspiration, apparently. This post takes a look at the life of Dean Martin, one of the most iconic entrepreneurs of our time. From his humble beginnings to his storied career, Martin’s story is one any entrepreneur can learn from.

Discover the most known Wife, Drunk, Drink, Home quotes from Dean Martin, and much more.


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About Dean Martin

birth of the author

June 7, 1917

death of the author

December 25, 1995

occupation of the author

Singer, Actor, Comedian

genre of the author

Traditional Pop, Country, Jazz, Swing

instrument of the author


date of the author

Years Active:

institution of the author

Capitol, Reprise

productions of the author

Associated Acts:
Martin And Lewis, Rat Pack, Bing Crosby, Quincy Jones, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. And More.


If people want to think I get drunk and stay out all night, let’em. That’s how I got here, you know. โ€” Dean Martin

I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor. โ€” Dean Martin

The whole world is drunk and we’re just the cocktail of the moment. Someday soon, the world will wake up, down two aspirin with a glass of tomato juice, and wonder what the hell all the fuss was about. โ€” Dean Martin

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. โ€” Dean Martin

i was so drunk last night i fell down and missed the floor Dean Martin quote


Return to me, for my heart wants you only. Hurry home, hurry home, won’t you please hurry home to my heart. โ€” Dean Martin

A girl phoned me the other day and said, ‘Come on over. There’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

If this is just the beginning, my life’s gonna be beautiful. โ€” Dean Martin


The reason I drink is because when I’m sober I think I’m Eddie Fisher. โ€” Dean Martin

the reason i drink is because when i m sober i think i m eddie fisher Dean Martin quote

I don’t drink anymore… I freeze it and eat it like a popsicle. โ€” Dean Martin

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

It was a woman who drove me to drink. Come to think of it, I never did hang around to thank her for that. ‘Hey lady! Do I look all blurry to you? ‘Cause you look blurry to me!’ โ€” Dean Martin

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. โ€” Dean Martin

Your lips and mine, two sips of wine, memories are made of this. โ€” Dean Martin

i don t drink anymore i freeze it and eat it like a popsicle Dean Martin quote

When the world seems to shine like you’ve had too much wine, that’s amore. โ€” Dean Martin


I know it’s the gentlemanly thing to let the wife file. But, then, everybody knows I’m no gentleman. โ€” Dean Martin

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we’ll never see each other! โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

With his blessings from above, serve it generously with love. One man, one wife, one love, through life. โ€” Dean Martin

Johnny Carson is a comedian who is seen every night in millions of bedrooms all over America…and that’s why his last wife left him. โ€” Dean Martin

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

Redundant Thematics

In Dean Martin Statements


My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

Inspiring Phrases From Dean Martin

Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’ โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody’s fingers. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruitโ€“ofโ€“theโ€“loom guys laughing at me. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show business. Hard work, perseverance, and discipline: all the things you need…when you have no talent. โ€” Dean Martin

Life is just a bowl of pits. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

Various Statements From Dean Martin

My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

Everybody makes mistakes; look at Hitler. โ€” Dean Martin

Marriage…it’s not a word, it’s a sentence. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

everybody makes mistakes look at hitler Dean Martin quote

My mother had morning sickness after I was born. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. โ€” Rodney Dangerfield

DEAN MARTIN Quotes Take Away

Conclusion paragraph: Dean Martin was definitely onto something when he said that laughter is the best medicine. Laughter and happiness are contagious, so if you can get your customers to smile and laugh, theyโ€™re more likely to stick around and buy from you. We hope these quotes have inspired you to find ways to inject a little bit of humor into your marketing efforts. And donโ€™t forget โ€“ if you need help getting started or want some inspiration for new content ideas, our team at Academy of Mine is always here to help.

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