I have no plan except to take care of the people I love. — Bob Saget

I love my mom! You can too for $12! — Bob Saget

I really love standup because it’s something that I’ve been literally doing for 40 years, which means I’m a thousand years old. — Bob Saget

I just love who I love, candace saId It really good at the kIds choIce awards:. — Bob Saget

When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs? — Bob Saget

Yet there are some people–Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he’s a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I’m doing it right now and you all seem bored. — Bob Saget

I love performing. I love the people. I sound like Liza Minnelli right now, don’t I? — Bob Saget

The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best. — Bob Saget

I really love making people laugh. — Bob Saget

It’s interesting to talk to young comedians. I love it because it makes me go, ‘Oh, that’s how I can be funny.’ — Bob Saget

I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don’t want to make fun of people. — Bob Saget

I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing. — Bob Saget

It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is–reading the news or speaking to people. — Bob Saget

Aristotle said, Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Isn’t that a three–way? — Bob Saget

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed. — Bob Saget

Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public. — Bob Saget

Around comics, I’ve always been known for, oh, that’s not dirty, this is dirty. — Bob Saget

All I’ve ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it. — Bob Saget

I think things just happen to people. That’s healthier, I feel, than believing there’s some grand scheme where your story is already inscribed in the Book of Life. Books get rewritten. — Bob Saget

My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day. — Bob Saget

My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward. — Bob Saget

When you have a good time there is no time. — Bob Saget

Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff? — Bob Saget

I think Desperate Housewives is a pretty good show, I watch it, I like it and I don’t love reality tv that much. I do watch some, I’ve got three daughters so we’ll watch the good stuff, the fun stuff. — Bob Saget

My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape. — Bob Saget

It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too. — Bob Saget

When you’ve seen a lot of bad stuff and just want to enjoy your life and be happy and have your kids happy and have your friends happy, you just have a value system where it raises the bar on what’s important. — Bob Saget

I thInk he’s gone through some mental health, he knows what’s goIng on. I thInk he’s fIne. I thInk he’s a dIfferent person. he’s not goIng to be dust–bustIng or wIndexIng. — Bob Saget

In the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work. — Bob Saget

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And if that doesn’t work out for you, Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. — Bob Saget

The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too. — Bob Saget

My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done. — Bob Saget

What I have now are good problems of trying to decide and what I really want to do is good work next. My phone’s ringing a lot more and I’ve got nine lines so when it doesn’t ring, it’s very frustrating. — Bob Saget

Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business. — Bob Saget

The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood. — Bob Saget

People do what they do to each other and they feed on it. — Bob Saget

Unless cameras were rolling, I was pretty much not Danny Tanner. — Bob Saget

You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you. — Bob Saget

Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker. — Bob Saget

Im most grateful for my wife and her family andmy daughters…my three girls and a lot of friends. — Bob Saget

Words matter. Especially if you’re kicking someone’s ass in words with friends. — Bob Saget

I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends. — Bob Saget

I have a couple of jokes that are politically oriented, but it just sickens me to do them. — Bob Saget

I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy. — Bob Saget

The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it. — Bob Saget

A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it. — Bob Saget

I’ve just never been a person that was political or religiously savvy. Except for the fact that I was born Jewish. That gives me 10 circumcision jokes. — Bob Saget

A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one! — Bob Saget

One of the first things I said when I signed on for the show was No hugs! Full House was all based on hugs. — Bob Saget

People learn English from ‘Full House.’ Candace’s husband, Valeri Bure, he learned to speak English watching it… ‘Aw, nuts.’ ‘You got it, dude.’ — Bob Saget

One of the first things I ever did was ‘Critical Condition.’ That was before ‘Full House.’ It was a Richard Pryor movie. I didn’t have a giant part, but I was in it throughout. I loved the heck out of it. — Bob Saget

Found a bunch of old shower caps in my house. Was gonna throw them out but realized they make excellent porta potties for long road trips. — Bob Saget

I’ve taken Midol before. My daughters find that hilarious. I had a headache and cramps, and there were no other pain relievers with caffeine in the house. — Bob Saget

My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, You need to meet other people. — Bob Saget

Met a girl the other nite and told her–Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable? — Bob Saget

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom. — Bob Saget

Billy crystal told et’s nischelle turner. … this film gets you behind that and lets you get to understand how that happened. you know, how that kind of mind was created. — Bob Saget

My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby. — Bob Saget