I love watching TV. — Amy Schumer

I love thIs show. I’m a fan of the show, kaItlyn’s( brIstowe) my favorIte person that has ever been on the show, and I hope she fInds love. — Amy Schumer

I love standing at a microphone and making a room of people laugh. That’s the part of the work I love; everything else is extraneous. — Amy Schumer

Being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re shy. It means you enjoy being alone. — Amy Schumer

I feel very open with people, and I’m good at disarming them and having conversations. — Amy Schumer

I’ve done some things I’m embarrassed about, and I like to tell people about them so that maybe they feel less embarrassed or alone when they do something they’re unsure about. — Amy Schumer

I don’t know how introverts survived without the Internet. Or with the Internet. Actually, I don’t know how we survive at all. It feels impossible. — Amy Schumer

I don’t feel any sense of competition at all, and that might be my naïveté, but I don’t feel pitted against anyone at all. — Amy Schumer

I just have this sense of entitlement that I should be able to feel comfortable at all times, like I could go to bed at any moment in what I’m wearing. — Amy Schumer

Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that. — Amy Schumer

I feel very comfortable in my own skin. When someone makes jokes about me being heavy, it makes me mad. It’s not true. I’m right where I should be. — Amy Schumer

I completely identify as female, believe it or not. — Amy Schumer

My mom made me think I was gorgeous. When I was younger she was like, ‘Look at you! You’re an angel. You sparkle!’ And I was like, ‘I do!’ You believe your parents. — Amy Schumer

First of all, nobody can be innocent and wise at the same time. That’s another one of those impossible combinations. — Amy Schumer

He was really into family… He’d never come on the road with me on the weekends ’cause he wanted to spend time with his wife. — Amy Schumer

I hope that the next time you go to a concert, the band doesn’t play the song you wanna hear! And instead, they just play songs off their new album! — Amy Schumer

I’m not extra sensitive to handshakes. I shake hands all the time. — Amy Schumer

I want to keep working really hard at getting better at stand–up and touring, and I can’t imagine a time when I won’t want to do that. But, who knows? — Amy Schumer

It was a perfect time. i was feeling really great about Amy Schumer. i met him when we were done filming. i felt really empowered and i loved Amy Schumer. — Amy Schumer

I feel pretty, It was a perfect tIme. I was feelIng really great about Amy Schumer. I met hIm when we were done fIlmIng. I felt really empowered and I loved Amy Schumer. — Amy Schumer

The time is now for The american people to rally for These changes, These are my first public comments on The issue of gun violence, but i can promise you They will not be my last. — Amy Schumer

I thInk there are a lot of people wIth autIsm who go undIagnosed when I thInk theIr lIfe could be better If they got those tools. — Amy Schumer

I’m not sure why this man chose my movie to end these two beautiful lives and injure nine others, but it was very personal for me. — Amy Schumer

We all accept too easily that life has to be hard and forget to make sure we have the most fun we can. — Amy Schumer

The saddest realization I’ve had in my life is that my parents are people. Sad, human people. I aged a decade in that moment. — Amy Schumer

It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna! — Amy Schumer

The moments that make life worth living are when things are at their worst and you find a way to laugh. — Amy Schumer

The girls I grew up with they’re living normal, adult lives. So they call me now and they’re like, ‘Amy, I’m pregnant.’ And I still react like, ‘What are you going to do? I’ll drive you, I guess. — Amy Schumer